The Gift that Keeps on Giving

One of the greatest joys of the Christmas season is finding a perfect gift and seeing the face of a loved one light up when they open it.  I had this experience last Christmas with the gift I gave to my mom.  But before I tell you about that, let me tell you about a gift that she gave.

My mom has always loved to color, and when I was six years old she bought a giant T'was the Night Before Christmas coloring book.

 

I remember coloring with her and always being amazed at how beautiful her pages turned out.   You can faintly see in the lower right hand corner of this picture that mom colored it in 1979.

Although it was 44 years ago, I remember coloring this picture of ma and pa settling down for a long winter's nap that mom and I colored together in 1978.  I recall working so hard to make my coloring as nice as hers.  In the lower left hand corner, if you look carefully, you'll see on the top side of the turquoise circle a spot where I messed up and colored outside the line.  I was so disappointed in myself, but mom reassured me that it was okay and that she would help me fix it so that it wasn't very noticeable.  As I've reflected on that memory as an adult, I've appreciated the lesson that she taught that day - sometimes we mess up, but it's okay.  There are things we can do to lessen the impact of mistakes made.  This picture, even with its imperfection, is now my favorite in the book because of the memory and lesson associated with it.

Over the years my mom encouraged family members to color in her giant coloring book, and to sign their name and print the year on the page they colored.  Several cousins and grandchildren contributed to its now colorful pages.  As far as I can tell, the last time that anyone colored in it was in 1997, but the book was always a treasured keepsake of mom's.  

In 2002, my parents separated and divorced.  Mom moved to Washington with very few of her belongings and many of her things got moved around and ended up in storage.  Several years later, my sister and I cleaned out a storage unit that had many of our parents' things in it.  When I found the beloved coloring book, it was tattered and torn, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it out.

I hung onto it for several years, wanting to do something to preserve it, but not sure how.  Finally, last year, I decided that it wasn't the book itself, but the memories that needed to be preserved.  In this miraculous age of digital photography, I was able to take photos of each page and have them made into a book that turned out even better than I'd hoped.  Mom was visiting us in San Antonio for Christmas, so we got to be with her when she opened it.  It was truly a joyous moment to relive those memories with her as she looked through the book.  

This book represents so much to me:  Mom's love of coloring, time spent coloring with her, her patience with my imperfect efforts, family gatherings at the holidays, holiday traditions and treasured keepsakes.  Mom's giant coloring book has definitely been a gift that keeps on giving.

Becca's 18th Birthday!

I'm not quite sure how half of this year has gotten away from me, but here I am, in June, feeling the need to catch up on recording some important milestones we've passed this year. 

I'm going to be focusing a lot of attention on Becca in my next few posts.  This year is the year she turned 18.  The year of leaving childhood behind and officially becoming an adult.  The year of graduating from high school, leaving home and venturing out into new territory.  The year of achieving goals that, up until now, she's been able to put off.  

I feel like most teens look forward to this time.  Becca has dreaded it.  I mean, it makes sense.  When you deal with anxiety, more freedom and responsibility just seems to bring bigger chances of screwing up.  Having experienced early adulthood myself though, I know how much fun it is, and how much learning, growth and fulfillment comes from those life experiences.  I wanted her to be excited about turning 18, and I wanted to build her confidence in her ability to navigate adulthood.  To that end, our gifts to her included a list of  18 Things That You Can Do Now That You're 18, with gifts to go along with each one, and and a book of advice for adulthood from some significant adults in her life.

18 Things That You Can Do Now That You're 18!

#1 - Vote

#2 - Buy a lottery ticket

#3 - Get a body piercing or tattoo without parental consent

#4 - Book a hotel room

#5 - Be called for jury duty

#6 - Go to the ER alone

#7 - Give blood

#8 - Apply for credit cards and open a bank account

#9 - Buy fireworks

#10 - Get married

#11 - Go skydiving

#12 - Get a 10-year passport

#13 - Get a Costco or Sam's Club card and buy in bulk

#14 - Sign a contract

#15 - Be the only one home when a service or repair person needs to enter the home

#16 - Work full time (I had a hard time coming up with something for this, so I regifted her a Hydroflask thermos that she already owned to represent taking your lunch to work)

#17 - Buy a car

#18 - Join the military

I'm not sure that this list was very reassuring to her.  It may have just scared her more. But I had fun putting it together and it was a fun way to show her the world of possibilities that is open to her now that she's an adult.

Becca is fortunate to have many exemplary adults in her life who love her: grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, church youth leaders, friends who have reached adulthood before her, etc.   I was able to collect letters of encouragement and advice from 18 special adults in Becca's life and compiled them in a book.  My hope is that it will be a guide and comfort for her over these next few years as she learns to embrace being an adult.  

It's hard for me to believe that she's already been 18 for almost half a year!  She has certainly had her fair share of struggles of late (a topic for a different post), but in spite of those struggles, I've watched her challenge her fears and take on adulthood like a beast.  I can't wait to see what her future holds!