I knew enough.

The other day I read a talk in the Ensign, "You Know Enough", by Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Presidency of the Seventy. In the talk Elder Andersen spoke an impression that he received while giving a blessing to a friend who was struggling because he had recently lost a young daughter in a tragic accident. He said, "The impression that came to me was: Faith is not only a feeling. It is a decision. He would need to choose faith. My friend did not know everything, but he knew enough. He chose the road of faith and obedience."

As I read this I was transported back almost five years ago. Only a year before I had experienced the most wonderful and the most frightening moments of my life. I had given birth to Becca and within a few days nearly died as my body failed to endure the stresses of child bearing and birth.

Pregnancy and child birth had been glorious to me. I treasured every part of the experience. Even more I treasured our sweet child and the tender mercies of the Lord that allowed me to continue to live so that I could be a witness of her life. I knew without a doubt that I wanted to have this experience again. Even more, I knew that my Heavenly Father wanted me to have this experience again.

Just weeks before we found out that I was pregnant again, I had been taken completely off of heart medications and given a clean bill of health. However, I had been warned that pregnancy would be a great risk.

Once my pregnancy had been confirmed, my doctor suggested that I call the cardiologist and find out from him if there were any preventative measures that I should take to help decrease the risk of reoccurence. The answer was straight forward, simple and bold. "Have an abortion. The risk to your health is too great." Fortunately when we had prayed to know whether or not our decision to have another child was right, the answer was equally straight forward, simple and bold. "Yes."

I was all too aware, though, that even when the answer is "Yes", it doesn't necessarily mean that everything will turn out as hoped. I was overwhelmingly aware of the possibility that the Lord's plan for me could have been to give birth to this child and then leave mortality and the life and family that I treasured so much. I did not know what the outcome of my pregnancy would be, but I knew that it was my Father's will that I have another child.

Throughout the nine months of pregnancy, child birth, and the few weeks following Isak's birth I did not always feel full of faith. Many moments of many days I had to, as Elder Andersen said, "choose faith". I "did not know everything, but [I] knew enough".

This has been the single most faith building experience of my life.

Last month Isak turned four. He is healthy, sweet, silly, energetic, fun and smart. I am so thankful to be his mom. He fills my life with joy.

But, without a doubt, the greatest blessing that I have received as a result of his birth, is the assurance that even when trials come, when the outcome of a situation is frightening and unknown, we can rely on our Father to guide us and we can choose to have faith in His plan for us. This knowledge has helped me through difficult times that have come in the past four years, and I'm sure will help me through many more.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you have been able to reflect on the multitude of blessings that our Father gives us.